Brother who?

Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I hope you are all well.

Today I saw just what Muslim males are capable of being.

I went down to the prayer room within the training centre that I am at and began praying. Then after about 2 rakaat into my fardh salaah, I saw someone come in from the corner of my eye. I thought it was a sister so I didn’t take much notice. However the person then walked across to the sink and did wudhu. That’s when I realised this was not a female. I then continued praying, as I was in the middle of my salaah, being as careful as I could in each gesture.

Throughout it all, I felt an inherent fear and confusion as to how a Muslim male could come into a room with just one female within it. Did he not know how to behave with women? Did he think it was okay?

As soon as I finished, I kindly requested that he leave until I finish my salaah. I also added that it’s not good for a man to come in whilst a female is praying. He then responded to this by saying he is a lecturer. I then replied “What does it matter? Brother please can you leave whilst I finish my salaah?”

This then set him off. He replied in a disgusting, vile and intimidating manner saying “I am not your brother! I am a lecturer and you are a student. Don’t tell me what to do!”

To see this response from someone who I am supposed to call my brother, angered, shocked and disgusted me! His arrogance at his position, coupled with his complete ignorance of khalwah (a male and female being alone), made me question just what kind of a male he really was.

He was not young and he clearly was of sane mind as he spoke with another brother who thought it was completely fine to come in whilst I was in the prayer room as well!

After the incident, I did report the incident and it is currently being looked into.

Brothers need to realise that they need to lower their gaze more than us females and that the prayer room doesn’t belong to them, thus not allowing them to feel as though they can barge in at any time.

At work, I have similar issues but not the same. As I just truly engross myself within salaah, I am met by a hard and loud attempt to gain access to the prayer room, jolting me and making me slightly lose my concentration.

Where has the hayaa in males gone?

Where have the manners gone from males?

What is going on?

Being used to males who would look down as I walked to what I have now which are males who stare as I go, I feel out of my depth and uncomfortable.

Do these males not understand what us Muslim and non-Muslim females feel when we are alone with them?

If not, I will tell you.

It is a mix of slight fear, apprehension, confusion and uncertainty. It is that feeling in which a person has to prepare themselves for anything that may come their way.

Islam has made women important and special in various aspects. For example, women have a whole surah about them in the Qur’an! We definitely must be something special then!

This complete disregard to Muslimahs needs to change.

Insha’Allah may we all be aware of our mistakes and rectify ourselves! Ameen.

JazakAllahu khairan for reading.

Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

A Modern Muslimah ❤

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2 thoughts on “Brother who?

  1. That must have been really uncomfortable. What gets me with some brothers is that they claim to fear Allah, but how can they when they defy Him in such a disrespectful way?
    I’ve only recently begun to practice Islam a bit more and lowering ones gaze is a two way street. I hope you don’t have to experience that again.

    • It was and it was scary as well. Yeah deffo. To dissociate yourself from your brothers and sisters hurt me the most I think.
      Yes definitely. I didn’t say anything the first time, out of modesty the first time, but at this point, I thought I had to say something. Insha’Allah. I hope no-one has to and I hope no-one is ever overpowered by another human. Ameen! Xxx

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